The Shoes

A warning: this post has nothing to do with knitting.

It has to do with something that I never thought I could do to discipline a child.

I believe in finding consequences that are very undesirable for the child. With my son, he would rather misbehave and have all of his toys taken away than behave and get to have his stuff. So we actually bought him a Gameboy so that we would finally have some leverage. That worked for him because he really wanted it and didn't like having it taken away.

A few months ago, my 5 year old dd was kicking the back of my seat on the way to somewhere (church, probably) and was generally being a brat. So I threatened her "If you don't stop that right now I will take away your shoes!" Now these are no ordinary shoes. They are lipstick red sandals with a bit of a heel. These are the shoes that my 7 year old dd saw in the store and she just could not leave without them "But mom, they are lipstick red shoes! We have to buy them!" And so I caved and bought a pair for each girl, even though we had been shopping for a more practical cream colored dress shoe at the time. Anyway, the 5 year old (we like to call her Thing 4) kicked the seat again, this time slipping and actually kicking my elbow (ouch!). When we got home, I took away the shoes, and put them on the top shelf of my closet.

The shoes were mourned. When Thing 3 was putting her sandals on, she would wonder aloud if Thing 4 would ever get her's back. When Thing 4 was wearing something red, she would ask if she could have her lipstick red shoes back. I held out. Recently, I told her that if she apologized, she could have her shoes back. And she did. Now she wears those shoes anytime she can, whether they match or not! Yesterday, she dressed for church in a coral dress with a pink sweater (handknitted!) and the lipstick red shoes. What a (colorful) picture!

Which led me to ponder on how strange it is to be able to take away a pair of shoes as an effective punishment (I will point out that she did have several other pairs to choose from-I didn't leave her barefoot!). When I was a kid, I could have cared less, as long as I had something to wear. At least when I was 5. When you have kids, you go into it with some preconcieved notions, that are often quickly dispelled. Each kid is different from the other, and more importantly, often quite different from you! It's all a great adventure, anyway!

Brenda